I am having a special sale on “Coin Toss” applications. I will write one for you for only $500k and I will even toss in a second one for just additional postage and handling. If you act within the next hour we will include the extra feature where the app will change color depending on your mood. Think of it as a mood ring for TSA agents. We are waiting for your call at 1-800-you-dumb. Offer not legal in smarter countries like Canada, Brazil and most of the rest of the world.